Lady Cecily and the Mysterious Mr. Gray Read online

  She fell back into habit: behaving and talking, laughing and dancing by rote. She had done this most of her life and she did not need conscious effort to maintain outward appearances. Inside, though, her emotions and her thoughts had free rein as she waited for Lord Kilburn to arrive, knowing she must tell him tonight that their understanding was at an end.

  Following her meeting with Zach in the Park, she had done much soul-searching. She could no longer deny the truth. If she were to wed any man other than Zach, she would never know true contentment. A part of her heart would always be empty and a part of her mind would always regret. She would always yearn for him.

  It hurt that neither of her brothers seemed to care about her feelings. About what she truly desired. All they cared about was that she remained Lady Perfect, as she had always been. Resentment had mushroomed inside her, no matter how she tried to suppress it, until she had felt ready to explode.

  And she had, finally, realised what she must do. What she chose to do.

  Kilburn arrived and immediately tried to claim a dance. Rosalind, at that moment, was by Cecily’s side and, feeling she must prepare herself for the forthcoming interview, Cecily nudged her sister-in-law’s hand before saying, ‘I must decline, I’m afraid, my lord. I have this minute agreed to accompany her Grace on to the terrace. It is exceedingly hot in here and we are in dire need of cool air.’

  ‘Indeed,’ Rosalind said. ‘And I’m afraid I fully intend to hold Lady Cecily to her promise. I suggest you try again later, sir.’ She smiled graciously and tucked her hand into Cecily’s elbow. ‘Come, Sister. I have a private matter upon which I need your advice.’

  Outside, Cecily crossed to the stone balustrade that surrounded the terrace and gazed out over the walled garden to the mews beyond. Rosalind joined her and touched her forearm.

  ‘I shall not presume to offer unsolicited advice, my dearest sister,’ said Rosalind, ‘but the truth is—I wish you might reconsider this plan to marry. We do not want to lose you.’ She raised her hand as Cecily made to reply. ‘I do understand your reasons for exploring such a path. I suspect I might do the same were I in your shoes.’ Her arm slipped around Cecily’s waist and she pulled her in for a hug. ‘I wish I could help—I know where your heart lies—but...Leo...’

  The aching knot that filled her throat had become so familiar that Cecily barely noticed it any more. She tilted her head to rest briefly on Rosalind’s shoulder.

  ‘You cannot become involved, Ros. I realise that. I expect nothing more from either you or from Thea. It does help, knowing that you understand.’

  ‘Will you marry Lord Kilburn?’

  ‘No. And I shall tell him so tonight.’

  Rosalind hugged her again. ‘I am relieved,’ she whispered. ‘I cannot like him after the way he behaved last night and Leo has uncovered some unsavoury details about him. He is far deeper in debt than anyone realises, you know. Leo suspected you intended to refuse his lordship anyway and he wanted you to make your own decision.’

  If only he was happy for me to make my own decision to marry Zach.

  Cecily did not quite dare tell Rosalind of the decision she had reached, however. A decision made with both heart and mind. For the first time in weeks, calmness descended and her soul expanded as she inhaled and tipped her head back to gaze up at the stars. She would inform Lord Kilburn of her decision and then she would tell Leo and the rest of her family that she intended to accept Zach. They would be unhappy, but she hoped in time they would come to accept it and that she would not be estranged from her family for very long. The alternative was to condemn herself and the man she adored to a life of misery apart. And that was a future she was no longer prepared to contemplate.

  * * *

  Hard grey eyes bored into hers. ‘I beg your pardon?’

  Lord Kilburn glanced around the room, then gripped Cecily’s upper arm and guided her forcefully towards the open window and the terrace beyond. Cecily complied. This needed to be done and she did not entirely blame his lordship for being angry with her. She had, after all, led him on, albeit unintentionally. Outside he released her arm, almost thrusting her away.

  ‘You have played fast and loose with my affections, madam.’

  ‘Fast and—?’ She laughed. ‘Really, sir. Such a claim is unworthy of a man of your intelligence. Our conversation at Leyton Grange confirmed affections were not engaged on either side, so it is of no use invoking them now.’

  Beads of sweat glistened on his brow and any humour she’d found in the situation evaporated as she recognised again, and more forcefully this time, his air of desperation. And at last she understood the reason for it and the reason for his continued pursuit of her. A thirty-year-old spinster with a large dowry must be close to a rock-solid certainty for a man as deep in debt as Kilburn.

  ‘I apologise, sir. I did not intend to sound as though I were mocking you, but you have never led me to believe that your affections were engaged. Now, if you will excuse me, I should like to return to the house.’

  She went to step past him, but he grabbed her arm and propelled her along the terrace to the end, until she was effectively trapped in the corner of the surrounding stone balustrade.

  ‘Is it the gipsy? Is he the reason you have again refused my perfectly respectable offer?’ A bitter smile twisted his lips. ‘There is no future for you with him, my dear.’

  He pressed closer, crowding her. The edge of the balustrade dug into the small of her back as she arched back from him. Why had she allowed him to steer her outside without protest? She’d had no inkling that she would lose control of the situation in this way or that he would behave in such an ungentlemanly way. Had her own behaviour encouraged such disrespect? She feared the answer must be affirmative.

  ‘Say you’ll marry me, Cecily. You’ll be a countess. A mother. There are already mutterings about your friendship with that gipsy...’

  Yes. Thanks to you.

  ‘Your reputation is sullied and you may never receive another offer.’ He stared down at her. ‘And do not—ever—doubt my desire for you.’

  He bent his head and her stomach churned as she realised his intention. She twisted her face aside and brought her hands up between them in an unsuccessful attempt to push him away.

  One hand framed her jaw, tightening painfully as he jerked her back to face him. ‘You kissed me eagerly enough in Oxfordshire. And tonight you willingly came outside with me...what is a red-blooded man to expect? The Beauchamp name and status has already suffered after your brothers’ recent alliances. Is it your wish to add to your family’s fall from grace by gaining a reputation for being fast?’

  ‘If the Beauchamp name is so sullied and my own reputation so suspect, I wonder at your still wishing to ally yourself with our family at all, Lord Kilburn. I wonder you do not look elsewhere for a bride.’

  His brow darkened and his eyes narrowed, but Cecily was beyond caring as rage erupted through her. How dare this...this...pipsqueak...malign her beloved family? Recklessly, she carried on.

  ‘Or could it be that your need for my dowry outweighs every other consideration? I—’

  She ceased her diatribe as a shadow fell across them. Daniel Markham stood silhouetted in the open doorway to the terrace. Kilburn stepped back as Mr Markham raised his voice, to be heard above the music in the room behind him.

  ‘Lady Cecily, my sister is looking for you. Might I escort you to her?’

  She heard Kilburn’s growl of frustration as she moved away from him and towards Mr Markham.

  ‘Thank you, sir. That is most kind of you.’ She took his arm and he led her back inside the house, dipping his head to speak low into her ear.

  ‘I spied you from my bedchamber window,’ he said, ‘as did a mutual friend of ours. I fear that if you do not reassure him in person and immediately—his words, not mine—that you are unharmed, he will not hesitate to seek you out himself, without regard to the consequences.’ He flicked his head towards Vernon, currently partnerin
g Thea in a country dance.

  ‘Zach is here?’ Joy and fear intertwined. What if Leo or Vernon should see him?

  ‘He is. And he wants to speak with you. Come.’ He led her to the door and out into the hall. ‘He awaits you in the morning parlour. No doubt you know the way.’

  She flashed a smile at him. ‘Thank you, Daniel. You will not tell anyone?’

  He laughed. ‘You can be sure I shall keep your secret, my lady—I value my skin too highly to reveal this or my part in it.’

  She sped to the parlour and straight into Zach’s arms, seeking his mouth with hers. Her fingers dug into the fine cloth of his sleeves as his smooth, warm lips parted and his tongue caressed hers. She felt as though she was melting into him, the strong frame of his embrace all that stopped her from sinking to the floor. His scent weaved through her senses and desire sizzled, igniting every nerve ending she possessed. Her breasts swelled within the constraints of her corset, her nipples ached with pure need and the heavy weight of desire gathered in her core. A low moan hummed in her throat and was answered by a groan that she felt rather than heard as it vibrated from his chest direct to hers.

  She released his arms and thrust her hands through the satiny warmth of his hair, feeling the weight of his thick curls slip and slide between her fingers as she pressed her mouth even closer to his, drinking in the sweetness of his kiss, savouring every moment. It was Zach who ended the kiss. Her tiny protest prompted a gruff laugh from him as he dropped a kiss on the tip of her nose.

  ‘I dare not carry on, sweetheart, or I will end up pleasuring you on the floor.’

  She clung to him. ‘At least we will be indoors this time and not under the stars.’

  His eyes gleamed as he returned her smile. ‘This is your brother’s house. No matter how I am tempted, I would not abuse his hospitality. Even,’ he added, as she opened her mouth to point out that Vernon was unaware of Zach’s presence under his roof, ‘if it is unwitting.’ Then he sobered. ‘Are you hurt? I will kill him.’

  ‘No, I am not hurt. But never mind me—why are you here? Why take such a risk?’

  * * *

  His heart felt full to bursting with love for her as he gazed down into her treasured face.

  ‘I have come to tell you what I could not say earlier. I will wait for you, sweetheart. I will wait for as long as it takes for you to choose your path and only if your choice is not me will I give up hope.’

  She laughed, her lips—swollen from his kisses—parted to reveal pearly teeth, her honey-scented breath wreathing through his senses. Excitement radiated from her and pure love shone from her eyes.

  ‘You will not have long to wait, for I have made my choice. I have refused Lord Kilburn and I am ready to follow my heart.’

  The breath he had held released in a silent sigh of joy. Cecily touched his temple, then traced his cheekbone and around the line of his jaw, as her soft green eyes searched his. ‘I shall hold my head high and stand proudly by your side, if you are certain that is still your wish?’

  ‘Can you doubt it, my sweetest, dearest love?’

  He gathered her into his arms and held her tenderly as he pressed his lips to her hair, breathing in her evocative scent: woman and apple blossom. He grew hard again, just holding her. She leaned back against his encircling arm and laughed up at him, her eyes sparkling with mischief as she pressed her hips into him.

  ‘I doubt it no longer.’

  She wriggled free of him and then took his hands in both of hers. Faint strains of music drifted through the open window and she tilted her head to one side.

  ‘Listen. That is the newest dance, brought over from Paris. It is called the waltz.’ She swayed in time to the melody. ‘It is still viewed as scandalous by some, but I think it romantic. I should like to teach you. I should like to dance with you.’

  He caught the rhythm from her; found his body swaying, too, of its own accord. ‘If it is so scandalous, my perfect lady, I wonder that you even know the steps.’

  She stepped closer. ‘I learned it at home, but I have yet to dance it in public. If I am going to set society on its ears by marrying you, I cannot baulk at dancing the waltz with you. Only you.’

  She tiptoed up to press her lips to his and he caught her in his arms, holding her hard against him as he kissed her again, with a demand that she responded to with a sigh and a quiet moan, sparking trails of fire that scorched through his body. He took his time, exploring her mouth, nipping her lips and feathering kisses over her silken skin, until she brought her hands between them and pushed his chest.

  ‘Dance.’ It was an order. She placed his right hand firmly at her waist, put her left hand on his upper arm and held his left hand in her right. ‘It will not be as good on the carpet as on a ballroom floor, but at least we will not slip—and dancing will distract you...us...’ She twinkled up at him and he found himself smiling again as she went on to say, ‘Now, concentrate, if you please.’

  He dipped his head to whisper in her ear, ‘I might change my mind, if you are to be this dictatorial, dove.’

  He felt her quiver and he licked her lobe before nipping it in his teeth. Cecily giggled and pulled away. ‘That tickles! Come, now, I long to dance with you. Please?’

  How can I resist?

  She taught him the gliding step and the dips and the sways and how to twirl her around and then take her in hold again and, gradually, he lost himself in the music and in the heady feeling of holding the lady of his dreams in his arms as they moved around the floor. The music finally ended and their steps slowed, and he held her even closer, reluctant for this sensual experience to end.

  ‘That,’ he whispered into her ear when they at last came to a stop, ‘did nothing to distract me.’

  She pressed closer, her lips to his jaw, then stepped out of his arms, gazing into his eyes, her own full of regret.

  ‘I must go. I will be missed and I do not want someone to catch us.’

  He caught her to him and kissed her. ‘Does it matter if we are to be wed anyway?’

  She pursed her mouth, a fine line etched between her brows. ‘It matters to me. I want to declare our love to the world and to prove this is my choice. I have no wish for any whispers that we have only wed because we were found in a compromising position.’ She stroked his hair back from his brow. ‘This is a love match, my darling, and I want the whole world to be in no doubt.’ She backed away from him, her hands clinging to his until the distance became too great. ‘I shall tell Leo of my decision as soon as we return home.’

  Fear clutched him at her words. Before she could open the door, he seized her by the shoulders and embraced her, holding her close to his heart.

  ‘How shall I sleep tonight, dove?’ He pressed his lips to her hair. ‘Your brother is a persuasive man.What if—?’

  ‘Hush, my love.’ Her arms encircled his waist and she hugged him. Hard. ‘I shall not change my mind. I promise. But I must leave now.’

  He nudged her chin up and kissed her.

  ‘I shall see you tomorrow and we will make our plans,’ he said, as he released her. ‘But I shall not rest easy until we are wed.’

  She slipped from the room, leaving him hardly able to believe his good fortune. His perfect lady was to be his.

  Chapter Twenty

  ‘So.’ Leo opened the door to the first-floor salon at Beauchamp House and ushered Cecily through. ‘What is it you wish to discuss? Does it concern your refusal of Kilburn’s offer?’

  Olivia and Nell had been sent off to bed as soon as they all arrived home from the party. Rosalind, after a few seconds’ hesitation, joined Leo and Cecily in the salon and sat quietly at one end of the sofa while Cecily settled in a chair.

  ‘Indirectly, yes.’

  ‘Well, I cannot pretend I am not relieved you have decided against him.’ Leo sat next to Rosalind. ‘Are you still adamant you wish to wed? I do not know what else there is to discuss—you have rejected my every suggestion of other prospective suitors, all of
whom would prove eminently acceptable husbands.’

  ‘They are no more acceptable to me than Lord Kilburn was.’ Cecily hauled in a deep breath. ‘I intend to wed Mr Graystoke.’

  Leo surged to his feet. ‘No! I forbid it.’

  Cecily forced herself to remain seated, folding her hands in her lap as she tilted her chin.

  ‘It is not in your power to forbid it, Leo. I am sorry if you feel my choice will reflect badly on the Beauchamp family name, but—for once—I intend to follow my heart. I love Zach and he loves me. And, as I advised you not so many months ago, it is no simple matter to change your heart.

  ‘Rosalind, I am sorry. I know you have qualms about this fuelling the gossip about your family connections, but my decision is made. I told Zach tonight.’

  ‘Tonight? I did not see him at the party.’ Rosalind stood up, and went to Leo, taking his hand. ‘And please do not worry about me. I admit I was concerned initially, but who are we to stand in the way of true love?’

  ‘Rosalind. I think it is time you went to bed,’ Leo growled.

  She smiled at him, and kissed his cheek. ‘I shall wait for you, my sweet.’

  She put her lips to his ear and whispered something that brought a gleam to his eyes and a quiver to his lips. Their intimacy brought a lump to Cecily’s throat. This was what she desired. This was what she and Zach would share. She would never enjoy that sort of closeness with any other man.

  Rosalind spoke to Cecily again. ‘Any gossip will be short-lived and last only as long as it takes the next scandal to emerge. And Leo—if he chooses to do so—is capable of dealing most effectively with anyone unwise enough to besmirch the Beauchamp name.’

  ‘Thank you, Rosalind. I am grateful.’ Cecily stood, smoothing her hair, and walked over to stand in front of her brother. ‘I hope you can find it in your heart to at least accept our union, Leo, if not approve it wholeheartedly. I have supported this family all these years and I have done so willingly. Happily. But, for once, I should like someone to consider my feelings, not just my duty.